really dont know what to say exactly, but i feel good knowing that in a few hours(in this case 30hrs considered "few"compared to 3 years of being here) im going to be in a familiar place
im not quite sure what will be my first expression, but im guessing the heat !! THAI HEAT!!
right about now i dont feel the feeling that i supposed to feel at all, i dont feel any unusual excitement, isnt it weird, i mean im actually going back to the place i love, the place where everything start, the place where everything fall into place? i guess im too "old" or maybe ive become a motionless person. maybe 3years is too long! but who knows i might get excited when i actually see the airport and the runway...
it's about 11pm right now, im leaving tomorrow morning around 6 to catch an airport bus to Chicago. i mean 7 hours is not that long right? mayb i should get ready? i really dont know what to do, i think i forgot somethings, but i really dont know what i forgot......maybe i'll remember when im arrive hahaha that just how it is
i really want to be excited by this, but it just seems so surreal to me, i feel like this is a dream that eventually i will wake up or this is some kind of a joke, (i just poked myself, and it hurts) so, i guess im not dreaming after all this is all real, im going back, im really going back arent i ?
3 years is a long time, everything changes, people changes, believe me i know, because ive changed too. i dont know if it were in a good way or in a bad, but i guess both
i think i gain a lot of adultness and responsibility, but in the same time i also lost my innocence and my craziness behavior. i mean nothing last forever right? everything have to change someday, somehow, i mean change is good right?
i just hope that people will understand me and my circumstances, i just hope they like the new me! im not saying that im a real bad person but sometime i can be very hard to understand, i have lots of things going on in my life, i just hope they would forgive me if i did something they never expected me to do, cause after all im still "me" but just the grownup version of me
and why am i so dramatic here?
hahahaha i guess im having a panic attack!!!! cause im going back to THAILAND!
i hope i'll have a safe flight, i hope nothing weird happen to my planes, i hope i didnt forget anything, i really hope that ...................
well i guess this is it, im signing off now
see you in the other side then
airin.
